Guest Post - Mindfulness Techniques From a Skeptic: How Breathwork Helps Manage Stress

One evening I had an incredibly panicky anxious moment where my head was spinning. I was spiraling down the rabbit hole of doom and gloom. I went to my mother, and I started spewing all my fears. She held me and began to soothe me by syncing up my breathing with hers. She was able to reassure me that if I were in a normal state (not aroused), I would probably look at the situation I had brought to her and see that it was okay. I was safe, and there was no real threat here.

That's why breathwork or meditation is so important. We can feel like we have to solve whatever is going on within us when our nervous system is aroused. Now, if you are actually in an instance where you aren't safe, then your nervous system is being helpful. It's telling you to get to safety, and you should listen. However, most of the time, our nervous system gets aroused in everyday situations - which isn't always super helpful. For example, daily conversations with your partner, a meeting with your boss, running late to meet your friend, and the constant stress of the news and media can cause arousal. So how do we manage daily stress? Well, research has found that deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system resulting in "calmness pervading the body: the heart rate slows and becomes regular; blood pressure decreases; muscles relax (André, 2019). 

 To manage stress effectively, we need to find ways to calm our nervous system and bring us back to a place where we can think clearly and rationally. 

Opposition to Breathwork

 I used to be very opposed to doing breathwork or meditation. I thought, why would I want to sit and feel all this discomfort? What I wanted to do was fix it. In reality, these intense emotions that I was feeling were linked to past experiences. In the present moment, I was safe. Nothing had to be done; I could just be.

A question you may be thinking: But it is unsafe! There is a pandemic, police brutality, fires, and a corrupt government. How can I calm down when there are reasons to be worried?

Things are indeed scary right now, and it's okay to feel that. However, it can help to focus on what we can control. At the beginning of the California fires, I got freaked out. Feeling out of control made me anxious, I needed to help myself release my obsession with what I can't control. I decided that I would name what I was feeling, do what I could, and then focus on something else. First, I used my anxious energy to find a place to donate clothing and other supplies to those who needed it. Then, even though I wasn't close to any fires, I decided to make a bag of belongings that I would bring in the instance that I would have to evacuate the house. By doing those actions, I felt I had regained some control. After that, I did something that would self soothe. I read a book, and I gardened. This practice helped remind me that even though things are scary and out of our control right now, I still have agency in my own life. I can make decisions about what I want to do to take care of myself.

Intimidation about meditation 

Meditation can seem intimidating. The classic image is where a person is sitting cross-legged with their hands resting on their knees, palms upward. Their mind is completely clear of thoughts, and they have become unaware of time and space. Personally, I like to take the pressure off. It helps me to get into a comfortable position. I set a timer for 12 minutes ( but when I was first starting, I only did 6 minutes). Then I focus on my breath by breathing in for three seconds and exhaling for four seconds. I begin to think of my emotions as information that doesn't need to be solved. I continue to count even when thoughts come in my mind. I notice the feeling that they give me and let them go. Often I'll even say in my mind, "Oh, okay I'm feeling angry, or I'm feeling sad, or I'm feeling overwhelmed." I remind myself that these are feelings, but they will pass. I will not always feel the way I do at this present moment.

When you're just starting to meditate, you can ask yourself: Why am I doing this? If the answer is to self soothe, then find whatever way works for you. You can also ask: what is my intention when meditating? If you feel yourself getting locked into this idea of "meditating perfectly," try and come back to the notion of self-soothing. Self-soothing can look different for everyone. It's all about finding what works for you.

Sources:

André, C. (2019, January 15). Proper Breathing Brings Better Health. Retrieved September 13, 2020, from  https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/proper-breathing-brings-better-health/